That was really good. I used to be very snappy towards my wife...I'd snap, get over it and she would stew saying what an asshole. Often, I was very stressed and simply would take it out. Someone mentioned we have a 1/4 second before the anger you feel is acted upon and he thought it was such a short time, I learned to make it much much longer just by being aware of that feeling. I cut my snappiness 99% since then...I don't want people to forget I can be an asshole so I have to get upset once in a blue. When I am feeling stress or anxiety, I let others around me know that I am feeling that way and if I get out of line know I am under a bit of pressure. It is not a "get out of jail card" to be an asshole, but it does diffuse the situation before it starts. Al Cheech - LadiesOnFilm
What a great post! This has application on so many levels....Here I will comment on the business level. Years ago, I worked for Toyota. The Japanese managers were very restrained -- they were OK with lots of "awkward silences" during a meeting. Americans hate silence - so then they would spout off all kinds of things to fill the void. For the "restrained" this really becomes an advantage as the other side gives you all kinds of material. Plus, it can be just plain more civil. It's still OK to behave like the guys in the barbershop in the movie "Gran Torino" but sometimes it's OK to be restrained....
Being civil, having humanity and just being nice even when people do not deserve it is a super power. Speaking in the art of subtleties gives not only an exit ramp but a bridge to cross again. Still learning and practicing this now. Will fail at it today but hopefully a little less each day.
Youth is wasted on the young….knowledge is oftentimes wasted on the old. I think we all knew these things earlier but just “knew better” until we didn’t.
No finish lines…just keep running…just keep trying.
That was really good. I used to be very snappy towards my wife...I'd snap, get over it and she would stew saying what an asshole. Often, I was very stressed and simply would take it out. Someone mentioned we have a 1/4 second before the anger you feel is acted upon and he thought it was such a short time, I learned to make it much much longer just by being aware of that feeling. I cut my snappiness 99% since then...I don't want people to forget I can be an asshole so I have to get upset once in a blue. When I am feeling stress or anxiety, I let others around me know that I am feeling that way and if I get out of line know I am under a bit of pressure. It is not a "get out of jail card" to be an asshole, but it does diffuse the situation before it starts. Al Cheech - LadiesOnFilm
Was you, am you. Thanks for the validation. As the old saying goes, "we grow too soon old and too late smart."
What a great post! This has application on so many levels....Here I will comment on the business level. Years ago, I worked for Toyota. The Japanese managers were very restrained -- they were OK with lots of "awkward silences" during a meeting. Americans hate silence - so then they would spout off all kinds of things to fill the void. For the "restrained" this really becomes an advantage as the other side gives you all kinds of material. Plus, it can be just plain more civil. It's still OK to behave like the guys in the barbershop in the movie "Gran Torino" but sometimes it's OK to be restrained....
excellently said. Each day I remind myself to build goodwills, not badwills.
Being civil, having humanity and just being nice even when people do not deserve it is a super power. Speaking in the art of subtleties gives not only an exit ramp but a bridge to cross again. Still learning and practicing this now. Will fail at it today but hopefully a little less each day.
Youth is wasted on the young….knowledge is oftentimes wasted on the old. I think we all knew these things earlier but just “knew better” until we didn’t.
No finish lines…just keep running…just keep trying.
Great post!!! Something I'm working on every day.
Reminds me of Michael Richard's famous rant that ended his career: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amjUNF_R_PY
Parallel paper I just read.
Is someone trying to give me a heads up on changing my reactionary behavior??
https://klementoninvesting.substack.com/p/you-put-a-little-bit-in?utm_source=substack&publication_id=10802&post_id=123498746&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true