Spot on. I was a very unhappy young person. My early life had been very challenging due to things mostly out of my control. I bottomed out at age 19 and decided to be happy. I did go to a therapist a couple of times, but I ignored her stuff about my background and picked up on basics like learning to breathe when tense and how to process and not bottle up emotions. It took me two years to be more happy than not and it was hard work. 'For the past 40 years I have been happy most of the time. Horrible things have happened in that time, but I process them and move on. The big realization was that I had liked being miserable because it was comfortable and familiar. Anyone can be miserable, being happy requires choice and work.
Most therapy now is a scam. They just make people worse and destroy relationships by giving people an external locus of control. Nothing is their fault, it is because X, Y or Z happened. Abigail Schrier just wrote a book about this.
Jared - as usual, very inciteful - but quite myopic. I don’t mean that as a criticism, merely as a comment. From your perspective, and probably most of your readers, this essay is “right-on”. My mom has just had a second stroke that has left her very confused. She doesn’t remember that she earned a pHD in Biochemistry. A therapist for my 92 year old mother (if one can even find one) fulfills a very different role than what you have written about. My mom is intrinsically happy, but still needs guidance as she nears end-of-life. I’m sure there are a myriad of other situations that don’t fit nicely into any one defined scenario regarding therapy - perhaps that is why there is such a vacuum of qualified individuals in this field. Oh if only Frasier was real ….
Very true. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and before it, Stoic philosophy draw on this.
BTW, just read Night Moves (bought it yesterday). I always wondered what would happen if authors were conservative businessmen instead of progressive journalists and professors. Well, I now have my answer!
It's really fun as the sort of descendant of that Tom Wolfe sex-drugs-rock-and-roll voice that's long since been wiped out by a heavily female publishing industry--rock bands, hookers, dudes in bad marriages (the *woman* is a self-destructive alcoholic? oh, that never happens!) There's a part of humanity not enough people are talking about anymore. There's even the amusing political flip with the crazy math professor who'd be the hero in any modern novel...except he sort of is, he's just defending or at least avenging his turf, which is kind of conservative? and in a sense he's living the old Jack Kerouac dream, right? except it's way past its sell-by date in his case.
I also got a little peek at the finance life, I tried out for it when younger but didn't have the schmooze and charisma, so wound up with an unsatisfying lower-variance career that still did pretty well, financially anyway. So, that's what it was like.
I guess being an author who doesn't need money brings creative freedom? Well, I'm buying a few physical copies to stick in my local Little Free Libraries. Some liberal lady is going to get a good kick in the ass...and maybe her husband will get some of the wrong ideas. ;)
Spot on. I was a very unhappy young person. My early life had been very challenging due to things mostly out of my control. I bottomed out at age 19 and decided to be happy. I did go to a therapist a couple of times, but I ignored her stuff about my background and picked up on basics like learning to breathe when tense and how to process and not bottle up emotions. It took me two years to be more happy than not and it was hard work. 'For the past 40 years I have been happy most of the time. Horrible things have happened in that time, but I process them and move on. The big realization was that I had liked being miserable because it was comfortable and familiar. Anyone can be miserable, being happy requires choice and work.
Most therapy now is a scam. They just make people worse and destroy relationships by giving people an external locus of control. Nothing is their fault, it is because X, Y or Z happened. Abigail Schrier just wrote a book about this.
Jared - as usual, very inciteful - but quite myopic. I don’t mean that as a criticism, merely as a comment. From your perspective, and probably most of your readers, this essay is “right-on”. My mom has just had a second stroke that has left her very confused. She doesn’t remember that she earned a pHD in Biochemistry. A therapist for my 92 year old mother (if one can even find one) fulfills a very different role than what you have written about. My mom is intrinsically happy, but still needs guidance as she nears end-of-life. I’m sure there are a myriad of other situations that don’t fit nicely into any one defined scenario regarding therapy - perhaps that is why there is such a vacuum of qualified individuals in this field. Oh if only Frasier was real ….
It sounds like you might be thinking of a different definition of "therapist" from the one that Jared seems to have been referring to.
Great perspective. Thanks
Very true. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and before it, Stoic philosophy draw on this.
BTW, just read Night Moves (bought it yesterday). I always wondered what would happen if authors were conservative businessmen instead of progressive journalists and professors. Well, I now have my answer!
It's really fun as the sort of descendant of that Tom Wolfe sex-drugs-rock-and-roll voice that's long since been wiped out by a heavily female publishing industry--rock bands, hookers, dudes in bad marriages (the *woman* is a self-destructive alcoholic? oh, that never happens!) There's a part of humanity not enough people are talking about anymore. There's even the amusing political flip with the crazy math professor who'd be the hero in any modern novel...except he sort of is, he's just defending or at least avenging his turf, which is kind of conservative? and in a sense he's living the old Jack Kerouac dream, right? except it's way past its sell-by date in his case.
I also got a little peek at the finance life, I tried out for it when younger but didn't have the schmooze and charisma, so wound up with an unsatisfying lower-variance career that still did pretty well, financially anyway. So, that's what it was like.
I guess being an author who doesn't need money brings creative freedom? Well, I'm buying a few physical copies to stick in my local Little Free Libraries. Some liberal lady is going to get a good kick in the ass...and maybe her husband will get some of the wrong ideas. ;)
This is great perspective, Jared.
On point. The universe is literally a reality manifestoor of mind. Change your premise, change your life.