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J.R.'s avatar

Was just in a conversation with one of my kids. They thought our family would have a lot more financial assets if there weren't kids in the picture. I said that's probably not true. Some studies show that married households with kids are better off. It's mainly because of something I've said in the past.....nothing focuses the mind better than having a spouse and 3 kids depending on you. As such, I've gotten promotions at work, for jobs I don't particularly like, but pays 5X the local median salary. The job isn't miserable but also isn't enjoyable. Without the family focus, I would likely be living in a box on the beach in Mexico.

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Tom C's avatar

Make that a 2 in a million shot Jared, my Mrs and I also got together on July 4th 1989. I was 16, it was her 16th birthday. 2 grown up kids later... We still haven't got married though!

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John's avatar

Divorce can be a bigger stresser than death. With the death of of a spouse you get sympathy and support. You get to keep all the assets, plus maybe life insurance. You get to keep good memories. With divorce you get people talking behind your back, bad memories, and if you're the husband you're probably going to get cleaned out financially.

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Yomi's avatar

I don't think married men financially outperform unmarried men cause they're married. I think you're looking at it backwards. Financial capabilities is a prerequisite of marriage. So it makes sense that men with more money have the option of getting married than men with less

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Al Cheech's avatar

It's awesome you are happily married Jared. I'm happily divorced. I still think of my ex very fondly and love her still very much, but do I want to be with her again? NO! When I was married we lived in an exclusive area in Jupiter Fl. I had 3 PGA golfers reside on the end of the street, a future HOF pitcher and his swimsuit model wife own the house behind me and everyone was very wealthy around me... and I was so alone, WITH MY WIFE. My wife and I communicated well but all I had was my wife. Almost no one else to hang out with and talk to. I was very complacent.

Now I live in a community with 1,200 condos on a mile of ocean front on the Treasure Coast of Florida. I paddleboard, looking to kite surf, and I go out maybe 3 - 5 times a week with friends and acquaintances. I was invited this past Christmas to a friends for dinner but many of the people had gotten sick so they cancelled. Even though I was alone, I was not lonely. I ENJOYED the solitude!

I admit I do miss the spooning and snuggling with someone, but I do not seek it. Never been on a dating app and fortunately have the height 6'2" and in fairly good shape, but I don't want the small talk with dating. I used to think I had to have someone in my life, but I no longer do. I used to have attachment issues where I had to win the girl like they do in the movies, but now I enjoy being alone. I'm in my late 50's and in the last month I met 2 women 39 & 40, both have 5 year old boys, one divorced the other widowed, both attractive and I am seeking simple friendship... and one IS a masseuse!

You can be divorced, alone and live a full life like me.

Al Cheech - LadiesOnFilm

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Trent Klarenbach's avatar

Excellent

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Bob X's avatar

Well said...I agree with most of this Jared. I will say that money/power is one hell of a aphrodesiac when it comes to women as Henry Kissenger once said....women will always opt for a confident short guy with cash than a poor tall good looking guy with no prospects.

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Liz's avatar

Married men live longer, but women receive no longevity benefit. We are wired differently.

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John D Buhrmann's avatar

Yep, that's the truth. I once read that as soon as men marry, statistically they add seven years to their lives. Women do NOT get this type of longevity benefit.

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