Again, you are an author like no other. Far from the typical algorithmic reading that's out there, you are super authentic!
Now, I have my own story about my wife that I hold dear. We will have been married twenty years this June. I can honestly say that I married the love of my life! She too went in for a medical procedure and went under general anesthesia. After she came back to post-op, I was there when she came woke up from the anesthesia. She looked right at me and said "I love you so much, and I am grateful for you". She then took a breath and then said "And we need to grind our own pork sausage, the stuff we get at the store sucks!".
This was a lovely piece Jared, it had such tenderness in it. My husband and I celebrated 20 years together last month. I usually enjoy your writing for its dry, acerbic wit, but this was a lovely change. Of all the mailers, newsletters, and substacks that make there way into my inbox every week, yours is the only one I make sure to always read. You have a style which is just so authentic and real. I love your musings. Just expressing my gratitude for your work from the tip of Africa! (Cape Town, South Africa)
You're a great person, JD. Your humanity comes through in your writing. The point of art, whether it be writing, painting, music or dance, is to convey something human and true to another person that helps them remember what a gift life is.
Aww, I think a big part of being happily married is being a romantic. I was very deliberate. I knew what I wanted and my husband fit the bill so I allowed myself to fall in love and give full trust. At the time I thought I would regret it for the rest of my life if I let him go and I have spent the marriage trying to keep him from figuring out that I got the better deal. I married for character and that does not fade with age. We married just over 4 months from when we met and had only spent a few weeks in each other's company as we met on vacation and lived 16 hours apart by car. Smartest thing I ever did. When we got together over spring break and had a $100 budget, but only spent half, I knew he was cheap enough that I could be happy with him. We camped free on BLM land and rock climbed. We are much tamer now, down to hopping on his motorcycle. We met on an adventure and still have adventures together. 37th anniversary Memorial weekend.
Hot flashes are not funny, they are annoying. It is true love if you can laugh about it and live.
Great post! My wife and I will celebrate 42 years married in June, and we are still happy. Several ideas to support what you wrote. I love her, and I want her to be happy, so I learned where her buttons are so as not to push them, either deliberately or accidentally. I also learned what I can do that she really hates. For example, I learned early on that if I would clean the toilets, she would forgive me a lot of other faults. I also take care of lots of other things, but then, she takes care of even more.
I will also note that in any marriage, there are a lot of things that need to be done, but it doesn't matter a lot who does them. An example is paying the bills. Now we have automatic bill payment, but for years, I made sure to sit down every month and write out the checks to pay the bills. She could just as well have done it, but if neither of us did it, regularly and consistently, our marriage would have suffered. And there are lots of other things like that.
As you note in "No Worries", to have a successful marriage, it is important to reduce or eliminate those things that cause stress. And finally, I will suggest that trusting and being trustworthy is perhaps more important than feelings of love. As long as both of us are trustworthy and trust each other, most other challenges can be overcome and our marriage will be successful and happy.
Perhaps that is the real key to marrying wisely. Be trustworthy, and marry someone who is also trustworthy.
Again, you are an author like no other. Far from the typical algorithmic reading that's out there, you are super authentic!
Now, I have my own story about my wife that I hold dear. We will have been married twenty years this June. I can honestly say that I married the love of my life! She too went in for a medical procedure and went under general anesthesia. After she came back to post-op, I was there when she came woke up from the anesthesia. She looked right at me and said "I love you so much, and I am grateful for you". She then took a breath and then said "And we need to grind our own pork sausage, the stuff we get at the store sucks!".
That's my girl!
The end made me cry Jared.
201 for life…
Kilt it J.
That is so frickin awesome! Really fantastic and touching. Also love your podcast.
Just damn, you got me again! My wife, too. Wishing you many more years together, JD.
You're a phenomenal writer.
Really, I am so glad that you were on the AoM podcast and since then I get to enjoy your posts.
Thank you.
What you describe is spot on. People choose poorly and then don't do the work.
Nailed it, brah.
A beautiful piece. 🙏
This was a lovely piece Jared, it had such tenderness in it. My husband and I celebrated 20 years together last month. I usually enjoy your writing for its dry, acerbic wit, but this was a lovely change. Of all the mailers, newsletters, and substacks that make there way into my inbox every week, yours is the only one I make sure to always read. You have a style which is just so authentic and real. I love your musings. Just expressing my gratitude for your work from the tip of Africa! (Cape Town, South Africa)
Spot on! Thanks for writing this.
You're a great person, JD. Your humanity comes through in your writing. The point of art, whether it be writing, painting, music or dance, is to convey something human and true to another person that helps them remember what a gift life is.
Touched a nerve JD , precious
Aww, I think a big part of being happily married is being a romantic. I was very deliberate. I knew what I wanted and my husband fit the bill so I allowed myself to fall in love and give full trust. At the time I thought I would regret it for the rest of my life if I let him go and I have spent the marriage trying to keep him from figuring out that I got the better deal. I married for character and that does not fade with age. We married just over 4 months from when we met and had only spent a few weeks in each other's company as we met on vacation and lived 16 hours apart by car. Smartest thing I ever did. When we got together over spring break and had a $100 budget, but only spent half, I knew he was cheap enough that I could be happy with him. We camped free on BLM land and rock climbed. We are much tamer now, down to hopping on his motorcycle. We met on an adventure and still have adventures together. 37th anniversary Memorial weekend.
Hot flashes are not funny, they are annoying. It is true love if you can laugh about it and live.
Great post! My wife and I will celebrate 42 years married in June, and we are still happy. Several ideas to support what you wrote. I love her, and I want her to be happy, so I learned where her buttons are so as not to push them, either deliberately or accidentally. I also learned what I can do that she really hates. For example, I learned early on that if I would clean the toilets, she would forgive me a lot of other faults. I also take care of lots of other things, but then, she takes care of even more.
I will also note that in any marriage, there are a lot of things that need to be done, but it doesn't matter a lot who does them. An example is paying the bills. Now we have automatic bill payment, but for years, I made sure to sit down every month and write out the checks to pay the bills. She could just as well have done it, but if neither of us did it, regularly and consistently, our marriage would have suffered. And there are lots of other things like that.
As you note in "No Worries", to have a successful marriage, it is important to reduce or eliminate those things that cause stress. And finally, I will suggest that trusting and being trustworthy is perhaps more important than feelings of love. As long as both of us are trustworthy and trust each other, most other challenges can be overcome and our marriage will be successful and happy.
Perhaps that is the real key to marrying wisely. Be trustworthy, and marry someone who is also trustworthy.
Congratulations on 28 yrs together.
Arranged Marriages aren't 2 random people stuck together. It's families who hold similar values seeing a future union for their kids together.
Maybe that wasn't what you were trying to say.
And you have an amazing wife