I think that you are being very kind. Of the 60% of assholes who are affected by drugs and/or alcohol you forgot that 50% (made up number - probably significantly higher) were assholes BEFORE their addiction.
Heard someone recently say, "Most of us spend the first 50 years of our lives recovering from the first five."
Then a book called "It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are"
And I remembered Guru Singh's words (paraphrasing): "If you feel someone's rage or anger, remind yourself that you're only experiencing 10% of their pain."
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Good article, Jared.
PS
Another commenter mentioned that you're still an asshole if you foist your addiction or ill health on other people. That might also be true. The world is beautiful and f*ed up at the same time, and all we can do is make the best of our four square yards of it.
I guess I spent the first 30 years of my life not getting this at all. Since then, it has slowly seeped in a bit. Good article Jared, this helps it seep a bit deeper.
Good read...gives me a little more perspective when dealing with these people. I usually opt for disengagement as I find many of these folks dangerous on many levels.
I wonder if most families have a few of these people. Learning the lesson of not judging or reacting takes considerable effort and practice. I believe that if we are honest, most of us know we have been the asshole at some point.
I think that you are being very kind. Of the 60% of assholes who are affected by drugs and/or alcohol you forgot that 50% (made up number - probably significantly higher) were assholes BEFORE their addiction.
Heard someone recently say, "Most of us spend the first 50 years of our lives recovering from the first five."
Then a book called "It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are"
And I remembered Guru Singh's words (paraphrasing): "If you feel someone's rage or anger, remind yourself that you're only experiencing 10% of their pain."
---
Good article, Jared.
PS
Another commenter mentioned that you're still an asshole if you foist your addiction or ill health on other people. That might also be true. The world is beautiful and f*ed up at the same time, and all we can do is make the best of our four square yards of it.
If you are a drunk, or mentally ill and foist your problems on others, you're still an asshole.
I guess I spent the first 30 years of my life not getting this at all. Since then, it has slowly seeped in a bit. Good article Jared, this helps it seep a bit deeper.
Great article, but I have a rhetorical question:
Why should their problem become my problem?
Life is too short to deal with jerks. I've done it plenty in the past, and now have a zero tolerance policy.
I dump them and move on.
Yeah this rings true… but man the 10% can do a lot of damage.
Good read...gives me a little more perspective when dealing with these people. I usually opt for disengagement as I find many of these folks dangerous on many levels.
And the sicker they are or the worse their addiction, the worse they are and the more sympathy they need
I wonder if most families have a few of these people. Learning the lesson of not judging or reacting takes considerable effort and practice. I believe that if we are honest, most of us know we have been the asshole at some point.
Nice article. Thanks Jared.
Co sign this graciousness