With regard to people not answering, or not responding as I expect, I realized years ago that I really have no idea what else is going on in their lives right now, and it is almost certainly NOT about me. It may be that my text arrived while they were driving, or otherwise occupied, they saw it but couldn't respond right then, and by the time they could, it was totally out of their mind.
I will do what I can to get along well with those around me, but not to the extent of doing things that are contrary to my sense of right and wrong. At the same time, I try to allow others the same privilege, and not get bent out of shape when they do things I find weird or unreasonable. I do, however, seek to avoid dealing with people who are manipulative or dishonest. They are free to act that way - I just don't want them in my life.
While I think much of what you write here is spot on, I take issue with your comment about if a child is having trouble, whatever it may be, just let go. The love of a child is not something which is easily, or even difficultly dismissed. Consider that in a biological sense, propagating your DNA is the most basic life function. There are millions of years of evolution working against that idea.
This article is an excellent distillation of both the problem and the solution. This is such a powerful life lesson, but it can take discipline to follow this advice.
Thank you. There is a lot of wisdom in here but I would turn the world upside down to help my child. No, certainly would not let go. Also, maybe what people turn into is based on 95% nature and 5% nurture in some circumstances but not in my experience, I certainly don't think it's common. Thanks for your work.
I liked this post a lot. I just wrote a bit about how I got stood up on a date last week. The girl blocked me while I was on the way to the restaurant, and never showed up. Very random. Didn't make any sense. And the amazing thing about it was I just didn't care. I removed the short term expectation. I had no expectations. It allowed me to move on and forget very quickly.
Nice work. I’d add a nuance that at first stress is a positive. It is a signal to yourself that things like your book signing made you hold on to certain ego centric feelings. This is a sign things matter. Note the things that matter then don’t hold on too long or too hard. Letting go risks confusing people that they shouldn’t care, which is not the goal at all.
I noticed long ago that success for me really took root when I truly stopped caring what other people think about the way *I* think or what *I* believe, and I just carved my own path - sometimes it was on the well-traveled path, but a lot of time it was "what the hell is he doing way over there?"
I love this and sooo needed to read something like this right now, so thank you. I think the texting thing is very relatable b/c like many things in life, how someone else responds to you is completely out of your control. It sounds so simple to say, "let it go," but I've often wondered, what does letting go actually look like? How do you get out of your own head and mental loop? For me, I've been a lot more mindful of shifting the narrative. Instead of, "he/she hates me/is mad at me and therefore, isn't responding," the new story is, "this person is busy and doesn't have mental capacity to respond right now." And it really does help me to think about it less and less, until, the person responds.
You wouldn’t worry so much about what people think about you if you knew how infrequently they do it.
—Someone Smarter Than Me
Words of wisdom from someone who saved himself.
Great perspective! A very timely letter for me!
Just damn, JD. As happens frequently with you, that was exactly what I needed to hear exactly when I needed to hear it.
Thanks
With regard to people not answering, or not responding as I expect, I realized years ago that I really have no idea what else is going on in their lives right now, and it is almost certainly NOT about me. It may be that my text arrived while they were driving, or otherwise occupied, they saw it but couldn't respond right then, and by the time they could, it was totally out of their mind.
I will do what I can to get along well with those around me, but not to the extent of doing things that are contrary to my sense of right and wrong. At the same time, I try to allow others the same privilege, and not get bent out of shape when they do things I find weird or unreasonable. I do, however, seek to avoid dealing with people who are manipulative or dishonest. They are free to act that way - I just don't want them in my life.
While I think much of what you write here is spot on, I take issue with your comment about if a child is having trouble, whatever it may be, just let go. The love of a child is not something which is easily, or even difficultly dismissed. Consider that in a biological sense, propagating your DNA is the most basic life function. There are millions of years of evolution working against that idea.
Good point! Something about the parent/child bond transcends the rational mind.
Amazing content
This article is an excellent distillation of both the problem and the solution. This is such a powerful life lesson, but it can take discipline to follow this advice.
Thank you.
Thank you. There is a lot of wisdom in here but I would turn the world upside down to help my child. No, certainly would not let go. Also, maybe what people turn into is based on 95% nature and 5% nurture in some circumstances but not in my experience, I certainly don't think it's common. Thanks for your work.
I liked this post a lot. I just wrote a bit about how I got stood up on a date last week. The girl blocked me while I was on the way to the restaurant, and never showed up. Very random. Didn't make any sense. And the amazing thing about it was I just didn't care. I removed the short term expectation. I had no expectations. It allowed me to move on and forget very quickly.
Nice work. I’d add a nuance that at first stress is a positive. It is a signal to yourself that things like your book signing made you hold on to certain ego centric feelings. This is a sign things matter. Note the things that matter then don’t hold on too long or too hard. Letting go risks confusing people that they shouldn’t care, which is not the goal at all.
Strong and deep
Whatever Penis Breath. 😜
I noticed long ago that success for me really took root when I truly stopped caring what other people think about the way *I* think or what *I* believe, and I just carved my own path - sometimes it was on the well-traveled path, but a lot of time it was "what the hell is he doing way over there?"
I love this and sooo needed to read something like this right now, so thank you. I think the texting thing is very relatable b/c like many things in life, how someone else responds to you is completely out of your control. It sounds so simple to say, "let it go," but I've often wondered, what does letting go actually look like? How do you get out of your own head and mental loop? For me, I've been a lot more mindful of shifting the narrative. Instead of, "he/she hates me/is mad at me and therefore, isn't responding," the new story is, "this person is busy and doesn't have mental capacity to respond right now." And it really does help me to think about it less and less, until, the person responds.