Nice post. I am a CF. Well paid finance professional, with very high savings rate. To give you an idea I don't even own a car at all, and very rarely take a taxi, I use almost exclusively public transportation. My only luxury consumption item is private school tuition for my two kids. I think I have become more of a CF since I had kids, as I somehow feel that the required savings are a multiple of what they were when we were care free DINK (dual income no kids). I sometimes go to what you would describe as extreme lengths to save a couple bucks, and in hindsight or even at the time if you think rationally about the value of my time it's totally not worth it.
On the other hand I have recently taken a decision that is the almost the exact opposite of a CF. I left a very highly paid job for a significantly less well paid just so that I have more time to spend with my kids. Looking at it rationally, I have paid a very high price to free some of my time. The opposite behaviour of spending extra time to save some money.
Most of these decisions are not rational, or even dare I say voluntary. They are driven by instincts. I instinctively save because I worry about an uncertain future, for both myself and perhaps more importantly for my family. I instinctively want to sacrifice myself for my kids, and putting my career in the back seat feels like a step in that direction.
Reading your post hit right home. Yet I can't see myself changing behaviour. Even though rationally I probably should.
I agree with your overarching theme in regards to money. However, I believe your thoughts in this matter are extremely simplistic and ergo not accurate. I assume you have read The Millionaire Next Door?
I have been a long time reader (and subscriber) and this is the first time I have felt compelled to comment.
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I agree with most of your points except for the car one-extrapolated to a metaphor about investing in what you spend the most time with, it works, but not everyone spends enough time in a car to justify spending more money on it. I’d rather have a reliable 10 year old car worth 10k and spend 70k on travel. But yeah, money is a tool to make our lives easier. It’s demonized due to the money trauma around the inherent inequality demanded by patriarchal capitalism, but it’s a neutral resource.
Great post. I sit a bit more on the conservative side in that I have chosen to eschew debt. Not a moral stance or a Ramsey stance, it’s just what feels right for me. As a result I lean a bit more on the “below your means” side of the fence. That being said, life is meant to be lived & enjoyed so I am not a CF to the point I can’t spend money having fun & living a good life! Cheers!
Sincere Q. I have been wondering for a few months now (I’m a subscriber to two of your newsletters), if you really have your full heart into the financial advisor/investment newsletter sphere? Today, I read this: “ If I could make the same amount of money by just writing books and essays and short stories, trust me, I would. “. So, should I encourage your writing and DJing and the other things you love by not subscribing and inch you toward those goals or . . .? Wayne
I am a CF, but I also worked in the restaurant industry and am a heavy tipper. If I can't afford a tip, I don't eat out. Your writing has helped me transition to spending more with age. The book, "Your Money or Your Life" was a game changer and led me to spend more as well. I even got therapy to help me spend more. Closer to the middle than I used to be, but I know many over spenders and they are not in good shape. I would rather be cheap. My kids would have been better off without a college fund if I had it to do over.
Love the insight into pettiness by way of the party of twelve vs. the couple with a $65 bill. Life is short, why be CF and short yourself. Being a High Roller is not a requirement to show grace or to be generous.
I enjoyed the article, and will share the sentiment if not the actual content, with my 3 20-something nieces. My sister-in-law would probably not like be passing along my favorite line:
"By the way, the amateur personal finance expert is a thing, with the FIRE movement and Van Life. I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals."
"I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals." Best line I've read in a while - I literally spit my drink across the keyboard. That's the edgy JD writing I love!
Nice post. I am a CF. Well paid finance professional, with very high savings rate. To give you an idea I don't even own a car at all, and very rarely take a taxi, I use almost exclusively public transportation. My only luxury consumption item is private school tuition for my two kids. I think I have become more of a CF since I had kids, as I somehow feel that the required savings are a multiple of what they were when we were care free DINK (dual income no kids). I sometimes go to what you would describe as extreme lengths to save a couple bucks, and in hindsight or even at the time if you think rationally about the value of my time it's totally not worth it.
On the other hand I have recently taken a decision that is the almost the exact opposite of a CF. I left a very highly paid job for a significantly less well paid just so that I have more time to spend with my kids. Looking at it rationally, I have paid a very high price to free some of my time. The opposite behaviour of spending extra time to save some money.
Most of these decisions are not rational, or even dare I say voluntary. They are driven by instincts. I instinctively save because I worry about an uncertain future, for both myself and perhaps more importantly for my family. I instinctively want to sacrifice myself for my kids, and putting my career in the back seat feels like a step in that direction.
Reading your post hit right home. Yet I can't see myself changing behaviour. Even though rationally I probably should.
Jared,
I agree with your overarching theme in regards to money. However, I believe your thoughts in this matter are extremely simplistic and ergo not accurate. I assume you have read The Millionaire Next Door?
I have been a long time reader (and subscriber) and this is the first time I have felt compelled to comment.
Matt
Being a CF for a time to build a bankroll can be life changing, being a CF for life looks like dog shit. But don't knock it.
The dynamics and nuances change dramatically as your kids grow up.
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I agree with most of your points except for the car one-extrapolated to a metaphor about investing in what you spend the most time with, it works, but not everyone spends enough time in a car to justify spending more money on it. I’d rather have a reliable 10 year old car worth 10k and spend 70k on travel. But yeah, money is a tool to make our lives easier. It’s demonized due to the money trauma around the inherent inequality demanded by patriarchal capitalism, but it’s a neutral resource.
You didn’t tell me to go fuck myself this time 😭
Great post. I sit a bit more on the conservative side in that I have chosen to eschew debt. Not a moral stance or a Ramsey stance, it’s just what feels right for me. As a result I lean a bit more on the “below your means” side of the fence. That being said, life is meant to be lived & enjoyed so I am not a CF to the point I can’t spend money having fun & living a good life! Cheers!
Aristotle’s happy medium is in order for both parties here.
Sincere Q. I have been wondering for a few months now (I’m a subscriber to two of your newsletters), if you really have your full heart into the financial advisor/investment newsletter sphere? Today, I read this: “ If I could make the same amount of money by just writing books and essays and short stories, trust me, I would. “. So, should I encourage your writing and DJing and the other things you love by not subscribing and inch you toward those goals or . . .? Wayne
Your article reminded me of 'Defending your Life' when Albert Brooks was defending himself for being a CF
I am a CF, but I also worked in the restaurant industry and am a heavy tipper. If I can't afford a tip, I don't eat out. Your writing has helped me transition to spending more with age. The book, "Your Money or Your Life" was a game changer and led me to spend more as well. I even got therapy to help me spend more. Closer to the middle than I used to be, but I know many over spenders and they are not in good shape. I would rather be cheap. My kids would have been better off without a college fund if I had it to do over.
awesome and all true !
fortunately i do feel i'm a just-right amount of spend guy. lot of dichotomy in me though.
jared would hate my car (2006 lexus ls430) but like my tipping habits.
i do not worry about money in the slightest...but i also don't waste it trying to look or act cool.
great post.
i'm sending this to my CF friends .
Great post Jared...I especially like your view on picking up the check. Splitting always seems a little weird.
Love the insight into pettiness by way of the party of twelve vs. the couple with a $65 bill. Life is short, why be CF and short yourself. Being a High Roller is not a requirement to show grace or to be generous.
Xevious.
I enjoyed the article, and will share the sentiment if not the actual content, with my 3 20-something nieces. My sister-in-law would probably not like be passing along my favorite line:
"By the way, the amateur personal finance expert is a thing, with the FIRE movement and Van Life. I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals."
"I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals." Best line I've read in a while - I literally spit my drink across the keyboard. That's the edgy JD writing I love!