There are two types of people in this world: Cheap Fucks (CFs)—people who spend a little—and High Rollers—people who spend a lot. That shouldn’t surprise anyone—we all know examples of each. What is surprising is that there are so few people in the middle. And the people in the middle, the tiny minority of them, are the only ones with a healthy relationship with money.
Nice post. I am a CF. Well paid finance professional, with very high savings rate. To give you an idea I don't even own a car at all, and very rarely take a taxi, I use almost exclusively public transportation. My only luxury consumption item is private school tuition for my two kids. I think I have become more of a CF since I had kids, as I somehow feel that the required savings are a multiple of what they were when we were care free DINK (dual income no kids). I sometimes go to what you would describe as extreme lengths to save a couple bucks, and in hindsight or even at the time if you think rationally about the value of my time it's totally not worth it.
On the other hand I have recently taken a decision that is the almost the exact opposite of a CF. I left a very highly paid job for a significantly less well paid just so that I have more time to spend with my kids. Looking at it rationally, I have paid a very high price to free some of my time. The opposite behaviour of spending extra time to save some money.
Most of these decisions are not rational, or even dare I say voluntary. They are driven by instincts. I instinctively save because I worry about an uncertain future, for both myself and perhaps more importantly for my family. I instinctively want to sacrifice myself for my kids, and putting my career in the back seat feels like a step in that direction.
Reading your post hit right home. Yet I can't see myself changing behaviour. Even though rationally I probably should.
I agree with your overarching theme in regards to money. However, I believe your thoughts in this matter are extremely simplistic and ergo not accurate. I assume you have read The Millionaire Next Door?
I have been a long time reader (and subscriber) and this is the first time I have felt compelled to comment.
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I agree with most of your points except for the car one-extrapolated to a metaphor about investing in what you spend the most time with, it works, but not everyone spends enough time in a car to justify spending more money on it. I’d rather have a reliable 10 year old car worth 10k and spend 70k on travel. But yeah, money is a tool to make our lives easier. It’s demonized due to the money trauma around the inherent inequality demanded by patriarchal capitalism, but it’s a neutral resource.
Great post. I sit a bit more on the conservative side in that I have chosen to eschew debt. Not a moral stance or a Ramsey stance, it’s just what feels right for me. As a result I lean a bit more on the “below your means” side of the fence. That being said, life is meant to be lived & enjoyed so I am not a CF to the point I can’t spend money having fun & living a good life! Cheers!
Sincere Q. I have been wondering for a few months now (I’m a subscriber to two of your newsletters), if you really have your full heart into the financial advisor/investment newsletter sphere? Today, I read this: “ If I could make the same amount of money by just writing books and essays and short stories, trust me, I would. “. So, should I encourage your writing and DJing and the other things you love by not subscribing and inch you toward those goals or . . .? Wayne
I am a CF, but I also worked in the restaurant industry and am a heavy tipper. If I can't afford a tip, I don't eat out. Your writing has helped me transition to spending more with age. The book, "Your Money or Your Life" was a game changer and led me to spend more as well. I even got therapy to help me spend more. Closer to the middle than I used to be, but I know many over spenders and they are not in good shape. I would rather be cheap. My kids would have been better off without a college fund if I had it to do over.
I enjoyed the article, and will share the sentiment if not the actual content, with my 3 20-something nieces. My sister-in-law would probably not like be passing along my favorite line:
"By the way, the amateur personal finance expert is a thing, with the FIRE movement and Van Life. I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals."
"I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals." Best line I've read in a while - I literally spit my drink across the keyboard. That's the edgy JD writing I love!
Nice post. I am a CF. Well paid finance professional, with very high savings rate. To give you an idea I don't even own a car at all, and very rarely take a taxi, I use almost exclusively public transportation. My only luxury consumption item is private school tuition for my two kids. I think I have become more of a CF since I had kids, as I somehow feel that the required savings are a multiple of what they were when we were care free DINK (dual income no kids). I sometimes go to what you would describe as extreme lengths to save a couple bucks, and in hindsight or even at the time if you think rationally about the value of my time it's totally not worth it.
On the other hand I have recently taken a decision that is the almost the exact opposite of a CF. I left a very highly paid job for a significantly less well paid just so that I have more time to spend with my kids. Looking at it rationally, I have paid a very high price to free some of my time. The opposite behaviour of spending extra time to save some money.
Most of these decisions are not rational, or even dare I say voluntary. They are driven by instincts. I instinctively save because I worry about an uncertain future, for both myself and perhaps more importantly for my family. I instinctively want to sacrifice myself for my kids, and putting my career in the back seat feels like a step in that direction.
Reading your post hit right home. Yet I can't see myself changing behaviour. Even though rationally I probably should.
Jared,
I agree with your overarching theme in regards to money. However, I believe your thoughts in this matter are extremely simplistic and ergo not accurate. I assume you have read The Millionaire Next Door?
I have been a long time reader (and subscriber) and this is the first time I have felt compelled to comment.
Matt
Being a CF for a time to build a bankroll can be life changing, being a CF for life looks like dog shit. But don't knock it.
The dynamics and nuances change dramatically as your kids grow up.
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I agree with most of your points except for the car one-extrapolated to a metaphor about investing in what you spend the most time with, it works, but not everyone spends enough time in a car to justify spending more money on it. I’d rather have a reliable 10 year old car worth 10k and spend 70k on travel. But yeah, money is a tool to make our lives easier. It’s demonized due to the money trauma around the inherent inequality demanded by patriarchal capitalism, but it’s a neutral resource.
You didn’t tell me to go fuck myself this time 😭
Great post. I sit a bit more on the conservative side in that I have chosen to eschew debt. Not a moral stance or a Ramsey stance, it’s just what feels right for me. As a result I lean a bit more on the “below your means” side of the fence. That being said, life is meant to be lived & enjoyed so I am not a CF to the point I can’t spend money having fun & living a good life! Cheers!
Aristotle’s happy medium is in order for both parties here.
Sincere Q. I have been wondering for a few months now (I’m a subscriber to two of your newsletters), if you really have your full heart into the financial advisor/investment newsletter sphere? Today, I read this: “ If I could make the same amount of money by just writing books and essays and short stories, trust me, I would. “. So, should I encourage your writing and DJing and the other things you love by not subscribing and inch you toward those goals or . . .? Wayne
Your article reminded me of 'Defending your Life' when Albert Brooks was defending himself for being a CF
I am a CF, but I also worked in the restaurant industry and am a heavy tipper. If I can't afford a tip, I don't eat out. Your writing has helped me transition to spending more with age. The book, "Your Money or Your Life" was a game changer and led me to spend more as well. I even got therapy to help me spend more. Closer to the middle than I used to be, but I know many over spenders and they are not in good shape. I would rather be cheap. My kids would have been better off without a college fund if I had it to do over.
awesome and all true !
fortunately i do feel i'm a just-right amount of spend guy. lot of dichotomy in me though.
jared would hate my car (2006 lexus ls430) but like my tipping habits.
i do not worry about money in the slightest...but i also don't waste it trying to look or act cool.
great post.
i'm sending this to my CF friends .
Great post Jared...I especially like your view on picking up the check. Splitting always seems a little weird.
Xevious.
I enjoyed the article, and will share the sentiment if not the actual content, with my 3 20-something nieces. My sister-in-law would probably not like be passing along my favorite line:
"By the way, the amateur personal finance expert is a thing, with the FIRE movement and Van Life. I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals."
"I like my personal finance like I like my porn: done by professionals." Best line I've read in a while - I literally spit my drink across the keyboard. That's the edgy JD writing I love!