I know people have feelings about this, but I never give money to panhandlers. Never have. There are the usual concerns about how they’re probably just going to score drugs with the money, but that’s not really why. We all have a desire to help people. But a dollar doesn’t really do anything. What is needed is to take that person to rehab, get them an apartment, get them cleaned up, get them a haircut, get them new clothes, and spend six months coaching them and following them around to make sure they get a job and become a productive member of society. But nobody has the time for that shit. So they give them a dollar, not because it really accomplishes anything, but because it eases their conscience. So it’s not really about the homeless person, it’s about you. So we give that dollar with the idea that a dollar might momentarily ease this person’s suffering, and that is something, but maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it just goes to drugs. The point is, it’s not really helping.
I just got back from somewhere that's definitely the equivalent of East Frogkick. And I will add one thing... when you show up to those places, in those times, an incredible number of people will tell you, "I can't believe you're here." Turning up for other people used to be an expected thing (at least in my mind) and now it's the thing no one does. Despite the fact that we have amazing transportation networks and it rarely costs as much as you think. No, it's not convenient. And it's often not easy to be present at those times -- people are in a bad way, mentally, financially, physically (sometimes all 3 at once). The conversations can be awkward. The situations are a mess. But when you go to your grave, do you wanna have regrets? Or do you wanna say, "Yeah, I came."
Best panhandler experience I ever had was in stop and go traffic in Portland, Oregon and the guy was selling jokes. I did give him money and laughed myself sick at the joke. The difference is that he was providing value, not just asking for a hand out. It was also at a particularly difficult time for me and the joke lightened everything up.
I give mostly time as I am a housewife. Our society would fall apart without some of us staying home to patch all the leaks in society. People have no idea how often we housewives are called in to help last minute for things like taking friends to the ER.
I'm new to your blog, Jared, but can tell that I'll really enjoy it. Re your post: It is too easy to give money to someone struggling and it can be surprisingly destructive to them. Too often it is done as a 'thank you God, that I'm not in that boat!' thing or because the giver wants to assuage guilt for not really helping. We should help, not just give. Stephen King in "Fairy Tale": "A brave man helps. A coward just gives presents."
Thank you - very expressive and interesting read You mentioned there was a stigma in 2006 for people who have psychological/ mental disorders. I belive there’s still a stigma also for people with alcoholism annd addiction diseases. I understand this was not the focus of your column, but it stood out to me,,, thank you for always being honest and open in your writings. I thoroughly enjoy reading them.
I love your essay.I have a strange resonance.Who would you like to meet in heaven?Spending time with patients and vulnerable people is a treasure. God bless of you and your whole family.Stay healthy.
I just got back from somewhere that's definitely the equivalent of East Frogkick. And I will add one thing... when you show up to those places, in those times, an incredible number of people will tell you, "I can't believe you're here." Turning up for other people used to be an expected thing (at least in my mind) and now it's the thing no one does. Despite the fact that we have amazing transportation networks and it rarely costs as much as you think. No, it's not convenient. And it's often not easy to be present at those times -- people are in a bad way, mentally, financially, physically (sometimes all 3 at once). The conversations can be awkward. The situations are a mess. But when you go to your grave, do you wanna have regrets? Or do you wanna say, "Yeah, I came."
Best panhandler experience I ever had was in stop and go traffic in Portland, Oregon and the guy was selling jokes. I did give him money and laughed myself sick at the joke. The difference is that he was providing value, not just asking for a hand out. It was also at a particularly difficult time for me and the joke lightened everything up.
I give mostly time as I am a housewife. Our society would fall apart without some of us staying home to patch all the leaks in society. People have no idea how often we housewives are called in to help last minute for things like taking friends to the ER.
Thanks for a clear and concise essay. It will help remind me why and how to do better.
I have known the throw money at it response to life. This nice writing encourages me to be present
I'm new to your blog, Jared, but can tell that I'll really enjoy it. Re your post: It is too easy to give money to someone struggling and it can be surprisingly destructive to them. Too often it is done as a 'thank you God, that I'm not in that boat!' thing or because the giver wants to assuage guilt for not really helping. We should help, not just give. Stephen King in "Fairy Tale": "A brave man helps. A coward just gives presents."
now THAT is a beautiful piece of writing. keep that shit up and you'll be swimming in subscribers.
Thank you - very expressive and interesting read You mentioned there was a stigma in 2006 for people who have psychological/ mental disorders. I belive there’s still a stigma also for people with alcoholism annd addiction diseases. I understand this was not the focus of your column, but it stood out to me,,, thank you for always being honest and open in your writings. I thoroughly enjoy reading them.
I love your essay.I have a strange resonance.Who would you like to meet in heaven?Spending time with patients and vulnerable people is a treasure. God bless of you and your whole family.Stay healthy.