Contempt Prior to Investigation

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation." – Herbert Spencer, An Artist’s Concept

Herbert Spencer (who is my kind of philosopher, by the way) was referring to the principle of openness in this quote—our willingness to try new things. Most of the time, we don’t want to try new things—we want to stay in our comfortable little bubble and do what we have always done.

I run into this most often:

Me: “Hey, I just recorded this mix, you should check it out.”

Villain: “What is it?”

Me: “It’s house music.”

Villain: “I don’t like house music.”

Me: “Are you sure? What house music have you listened to?”

Villain: “I don’t know. I just don’t like house music.”

Me: “Well, mine is different. It’s very downtempo and melodic. I think you’ll like it.”

Villain: “I don’t like house music.”

Six months later…

Villain: “Hey, I finally tried that music you gave me, it was pretty good!”

Me: I roll my eyes so hard I break them. Now I am blind.

Music is a very small thing. People have different tastes in music, and that’s fine. Some people like the Allman Brothers. I don’t like the Allman Brothers. But crucially, I have listened to the Allman Brothers! I have tried it! I have tried it enough to understand its essence. Not for me. And that’s fine.

But some people will have contempt prior to investigation about something that could save their lives.

Me: “I think you have a drinking problem.”

Villain: “Eh. I’m fine.”

Me: “Have you thought about going to Alcoholics Anonymous?”

Villain: “It’s a cult.”

Me: “Are you sure? How many AA meetings have you been to?”

Villain: “Well, none.”

Me: “So how do you know it’s a cult?”

Villain: “That’s just what I’ve heard.”

We tend to have preconceived notions about things. Indian food is too spicy. American Idol is stupid. New York is dangerous. And so we miss out on a lot of life because of these preconceived notions. With regard to the New York Is Too Dangerous thing, there are people here in South Carolina who have never been to New York and never will go because they think it is too dangerous. Yes, it is a bit more dangerous than it was in the 2000s, but it is orders of magnitude less dangerous than it was in the 70s and 80s. If you stay in the tourist areas, you’re going to be fine, and even if you don’t stay in the tourist areas, you’re also probably going to be fine. It’s certainly no more dangerous than the south side of Myrtle Beach after dark. So people miss out on a lot of life, because of their preconceived notions, and because they have contempt prior to investigation.

It also applies to romance. We have preconceived notions about people because of their appearance. That person is too tall, that person is too short, or too fat, or dresses weird—you dismiss a lot of people out of hand because of these superficial characteristics. In the electronic dating world, people set filters. How many women do you know who refuse to date someone who isn’t at least six feet tall? The best husband in the world might be five-eleven and you would never know. People exclude, rather than include. So Mr. or Miss Right might be out there somewhere, waiting for you, and you would never know because you filtered out Trump supporters. I have no experience in modern dating, because I have been married for 27 years, but if I were on the dating scene I would set no filters at all. Age, height, weight, education, nothing. Because you never know.

One of the greatest experiences I have ever had was going to a professional wrestling match. I know what you’re thinking: professional wrestling. You have preconceived notions about it. Let me tell you, that was the most fun I had in a decade. I went with my pal Bill Wrigley, and he spent a few months talking me into it—I was really unsure if I wanted to go. Cmon, you have to try it, it’s at Hammerstein Ballroom, it will be great…and I finally gave in. And I’m so glad I did. It was one of those Ring of Honor third-tier wrestling matches, and it was loads of fun. I still think about that to this day—all because I didn’t give in to my contempt prior to investigation.

It doesn’t always work out that way. About ten years ago, a broker invited me to deep sea fishing in Miami. I hadn’t fished much since dropping a hook with a worm on it into a pond in Connecticut. Well, I got on the boat and we went offshore and I puked my guts out. I puked, and puked, and puked until I felt something hairy in my mouth—and then I swallowed that back down, because that was my asshole. It was rough, and we were pretty much all down for the count—my wife was the only one who wasn’t seasick, and the only one catching fish. It was a complete bust. But…I’m glad I did it! Now I know what deep sea fishing is all about.

I have a friend who is always trying to get me to do yoga. Now, I have nothing against yoga, and I would actually like to try it, especially hot yoga—I love heat and I love to sweat. But I live pretty far away from a yoga studio, and to be honest, I don’t think there is hot yoga anywhere in Myrtle Beach, but I would like to try it. I mean, I do have preconceived notions about yoga. Yoga people have a reputation for being hippy-dippy. And there seems to be a belief that there is a spiritual element to yoga, and it’s supposed to mellow you out, or something like that, but I know plenty of assholes who do yoga. Bill Gross, for starters. I have a friend who lives in the Gulch in Nashville (the same guy who wants me to do yoga) and there are all these young girls walking around in yoga pants with yoga mats. White girl culture, you know. Still, Ichiro stretches for about four hours a day, and he’s going in the Hall, so maybe yoga would do me some good.

Had a bout of contempt prior to investigation recently with the new house. My wife wanted to order automatic blinds off of Amazon. She said that we could save thousands of dollars on blinds than if we hired someone locally for a custom job. I was skeptical. My wife tends to buy cheap crap, and I don’t want to spend a ton of money on a house and then fill it up with cheap crap. We did the second guest room as a test case. And you know what—it turned out great! Easily as good as the professional blinds. So I had to concede she was right, which is something that happens not infrequently at our house.

Try not to say things like:

-       “I will not”

-       “I will never”

-       “I don’t like”

I’ll give you yet another example. I had preconceived notions about NASCAR. A bunch of hillbillies! I said I will never go to a NASCAR race. Then my mom got interested in NASCAR, and she was going to races all over the country. After a great deal of encouragement, I accompanied her to a race in New Hampshire. I was hooked. It’s not so much that I care about the sport or who wins, but the experience of being down on the track while the cars are roaring past is…well, something that you cannot describe. You feel it in every cell in your body. So then I went to a bunch of NASCAR races, and even dragged my Wall Street buddies. And yes, there are hillbillies—but the hillbillies are great! I don’t go anymore, but I have great memories of it.

There is so much contained in this concept of contempt prior to investigation. Say yes to things. Go to the party. Go to the conference. Try new things. Meet new people. It’s the difference between having a big world and a small world. Sometime in the future, someone is going to come to you with an opportunity that might change your life. If you have contempt prior to investigation, and you say no, you will be cutting yourself off from the world. Well, the couch is comfy and the beer is cold.