Last week, I was in Kansas City for the AWP conference (Association of Writers and Writing Programs), and I sat down at my designated booth next to a 24-year-old representative from my school. After I introduced myself to her, she said: “Nice hair!”
What I like most about this blog is that I often disagree with you on something and then as time passes something happens and I realize you were right. A lot of your ideas have really changed me for the better.
I compliment total strangers. Years ago I decided that if I was thinking something nice, I would open my mouth. If I see a pair of cute shoes, I say so. I don't mind being complimented either and it does not mean I am being hit on. I still remember going to the Inglewood Costco in LA and the guy checking my cart at the door complimenting my eye color. That was nearly two decades ago, but Costco is otherwise somewhat dreary and it lightened my day. That is also the best Costco location in LA, a hidden secret.
Being able to graciously take a compliment is important too. I hate it when people argue, just silly, thank you is the correct response.
I am also happy if I am hit on at my age LOL. Just because I am not interested doesn't mean it is not a compliment. If they know I am married, I am not amused, just when I am not wearing my ring and they don't know.
I have been married for over 40 years and still compliment my wife every day, usually multiple times. I thank her for all she does for me, and when she claims that I do more for her than she does for me, I simply thank the good Lord that she feels that way. Most of our compliments are repetitive, but sincere, and we are still happy.
A sincere compliment that is not expected is powerful. In all my years of sales training and training others in sales, Dale Carnegie's writings are always referenced as a cornerstone on how to develop this habit.
I completely agree about spouses not complementing each other. My wife and I should probably do it more, but we’re over the top compared to most couples I see. A significant portion of my buddies have wives that seem to actively dislike them.
Your point about spouses taking each other for granted is well placed. I get accused of that all the time; but my spouse confesses to doing the same. Therefore; I try harder.
There is a movie, 'Boys' Night Out', from 1962 starring Kim Novak that is to this point and very entertaining. Kim Novak is working on a post graduate thesis on the sexual fantisies of urban men and is contacted by a group of four men who have got a love nest in NYC. What she discovers is all they really want is a woman who will listen to them.
This is 1962, so no skin or porn (as I recall). Just men playing out a fantasy for their peers while spending time baring their souls to an attractive woman. And their spouses? Well, they have been playing poker every Thursday for years. so the spouses don't mind. Even when each individual changes the poker night.
What I like most about this blog is that I often disagree with you on something and then as time passes something happens and I realize you were right. A lot of your ideas have really changed me for the better.
You’re a heck of a writer, Jared.
I compliment total strangers. Years ago I decided that if I was thinking something nice, I would open my mouth. If I see a pair of cute shoes, I say so. I don't mind being complimented either and it does not mean I am being hit on. I still remember going to the Inglewood Costco in LA and the guy checking my cart at the door complimenting my eye color. That was nearly two decades ago, but Costco is otherwise somewhat dreary and it lightened my day. That is also the best Costco location in LA, a hidden secret.
Being able to graciously take a compliment is important too. I hate it when people argue, just silly, thank you is the correct response.
I am also happy if I am hit on at my age LOL. Just because I am not interested doesn't mean it is not a compliment. If they know I am married, I am not amused, just when I am not wearing my ring and they don't know.
I have been married for over 40 years and still compliment my wife every day, usually multiple times. I thank her for all she does for me, and when she claims that I do more for her than she does for me, I simply thank the good Lord that she feels that way. Most of our compliments are repetitive, but sincere, and we are still happy.
Excellent article!
A sincere compliment that is not expected is powerful. In all my years of sales training and training others in sales, Dale Carnegie's writings are always referenced as a cornerstone on how to develop this habit.
I completely agree about spouses not complementing each other. My wife and I should probably do it more, but we’re over the top compared to most couples I see. A significant portion of my buddies have wives that seem to actively dislike them.
Stop with the Cargo shorts hatred. Sometimes you need to carry a lot of stuff and have the pleasure of well aired calves.
Self loathing is a yoke of oppression that is hard to escape from no matter how hard you try.
Accepting a complement is counterintuitive.
Your point about spouses taking each other for granted is well placed. I get accused of that all the time; but my spouse confesses to doing the same. Therefore; I try harder.
There is a movie, 'Boys' Night Out', from 1962 starring Kim Novak that is to this point and very entertaining. Kim Novak is working on a post graduate thesis on the sexual fantisies of urban men and is contacted by a group of four men who have got a love nest in NYC. What she discovers is all they really want is a woman who will listen to them.
This is 1962, so no skin or porn (as I recall). Just men playing out a fantasy for their peers while spending time baring their souls to an attractive woman. And their spouses? Well, they have been playing poker every Thursday for years. so the spouses don't mind. Even when each individual changes the poker night.