I turned 50 a few months ago. This is the way I look at the world: the 20s are the 20s. The 30s are the 30s. But the 40s are not the 40s. There are the early 40s, and the late 40s. You cannot generalize about the 40s. In your early 40s, you’re full of vim and vigor, going to titty bars and strutting around like a peacock. In your late 40s, you get sleeping injuries. Even your poop changes. You’ve heard the saying: never pass up a bathroom, never trust a fart, never waste a woody. I’ve thrown away more pairs of underwear in my late 40s than I care to write in this essay. Two weeks ago, I shit my pants when I was on the radio. Standing in my office on the phone, squirting chocolate lava into my Under Armour skivvies while talking about how to live a stress-free financial life. If you’re in your 20s, and you’re reading this, you probably are wondering how this can happen. I’ll tell you how it can happen. You literally have no control over your bowel movements. You’ll be sitting in your car, minding your own business, listening to country music and poop will literally come out of your butt, like a disorganized tidal wave with an exceptionally bad attitude. I could write 1,500 words on crapping my pants in my late 40s, I really could.
Jared, read or listen to Peter Attia's book Outlive. It's the best no bs book out there for getting and staying healthy as we age. Read it and get in shape, I enjoy your rants too much for you to keel over this decade.
100% agree - I turned 50 too earlier this year and have followed most of what Peter Attia wrote about in Outlive. Like most things in life it takes effort and discipline to be in the same physical condition at age 50, as the average 30-year old.
Very conservative husband and no trouble in the bedroom, I am suspicious of those stats. Less often than when we married 36 years ago, but more often than most younger people I know, it has always been a priority.
Thanks for the reassurance, we turned 60 this year. Affluent people also live longer.
My 30's were awful, I am 100 times better today and feel fantastic. Bowels are working fine, I must be missing something. Now the hot flashes...
"I want to be remembered, and not necessarily fondly. I want to be remembered as the guy who made you think and feel. And laugh and cry." You are on the right track for this :)
"My brother, a fitness expert, tells me that all I have to do is move for 30 minutes a day to stay healthy." - even 1 minute a day is infinitely more than 0.
When people retire, they die. Take your pension and change careers. Everyone needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I took my pension and produce videos of antique machinery for fun and profit. Mostly fun because there is no profit.
I’m 53 now, and other than being more susceptible to weight lifting injuries I’m not feeling very different than I did at 30.
We drove down the 101 in Oregon last year and met a guy from Bend who was 79 I believe. He was a chatty fellow, and pointed to the hike he just finished. It was something grueling like 3 miles and 1800 feet, and he looked the part. It was easy to believe he did a hike that would have had me huffing and puffing.
I firmly believe the secret is to keep the fat off and keep moving. It’s not a guarantee, but every older person I’ve encountered who acts like a younger person has a similarly high activity lifestyle.
Enjoyed the sharting references. It hasn’t hit me yet, but it’s a topic my 50+ friends love to talk about.
I'm 58, I only sharted once in my life and I think I was in my 20's.
I was in Miami Beach last week at the XBiz porn convention (I sell porn collectibles as I own an archive of original film from the 60's-90's). It was the first time that I didn't look at the eye candy. I clubbed only the first night until 1:30 and then came home and worked until 3am. A couple days in, I met a sweet girl that I became friends with that is a porn star and it was nice not trying anything and just being a gentleman. The bartender serving us simply said I manifested good energy and that brings me to my point... What stuck out in your essay is wisdom. In my 50's I became me! I don't have to impress anyone. If they like me for me...fine, if not fine too.
I do notice in my late 50's I ask the question "how many good years do I have left?" My dad is still in great shape at 87 (he was painting on a step stool just yesterday), but I too wonder how much time I have. What I try to do is live a bit each day. For me I paddle board, and look to wing (it's like wind surfing) and I look to playing guitar again and taking both guitar lessons (I want to learn slide guitar blues riffs and become a great singer ... I'm pretty good now but want to be great). I work 20-40 hours a week from 10-5 mostly and some late nights, but I screw around too much on twitter and stock stuff...which to me is a waste of time (researching is not a waste, but watching the market is a waste of time).
I am envious that I no longer have the love of a beautiful woman and even lost my cat last year... but I do value time now and try to live a bit each day and it is much easier when I am simply me.
You are a great writer, I hope you find an exercise regimen to keep you healthy for many years where at an old age when you had 50+ years writing the dailydirtnap, you look into your wifes' eyes one last time and shart on your way out.
I promise you will die of cancer with your wife gazing into your eyes sooner rather than later if you don’t deal with your gastro issues. Holy Smokes!?!
Thank you; that post made me laugh out loud. :D When I hit 50, I got a full-on midlife crisis. Had breezed through my 30s and 40s, so I figured the big 5-0 would be no big deal. Oh, was I wrong. What triggered my crisis was a blog post by a bestselling novelist in her late 30s, saying that she'd written nine shitty novels that never made it past her drawer before hitting it big. She said, "Maybe YOU have to write nine shitty novels." And I thought, "I don't have TIME to write nine shitty novels." It hit me like a brick, and suddenly I questioned everything, including my marriage, as in, "Is this really all there is? Is this gonna be the rest of my life?" The wacky hormone spiral certainly didn't help. It got so bad that I feared I was losing my mind... until I found out that those countless "conditions" I'd come down with were all one great big syndrome called (peri)menopause. At 59, I'm much more emotionally balanced than I was at 50, thanks be to God.
Jared, read or listen to Peter Attia's book Outlive. It's the best no bs book out there for getting and staying healthy as we age. Read it and get in shape, I enjoy your rants too much for you to keel over this decade.
100% agree - I turned 50 too earlier this year and have followed most of what Peter Attia wrote about in Outlive. Like most things in life it takes effort and discipline to be in the same physical condition at age 50, as the average 30-year old.
Very conservative husband and no trouble in the bedroom, I am suspicious of those stats. Less often than when we married 36 years ago, but more often than most younger people I know, it has always been a priority.
Thanks for the reassurance, we turned 60 this year. Affluent people also live longer.
My 30's were awful, I am 100 times better today and feel fantastic. Bowels are working fine, I must be missing something. Now the hot flashes...
Jared, your honesty and transparency keep me a subscriber. However your financial guidance turns out your legacy and value lies in communication.
"I want to be remembered, and not necessarily fondly. I want to be remembered as the guy who made you think and feel. And laugh and cry." You are on the right track for this :)
"My brother, a fitness expert, tells me that all I have to do is move for 30 minutes a day to stay healthy." - even 1 minute a day is infinitely more than 0.
When people retire, they die. Take your pension and change careers. Everyone needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I took my pension and produce videos of antique machinery for fun and profit. Mostly fun because there is no profit.
I’m 53 now, and other than being more susceptible to weight lifting injuries I’m not feeling very different than I did at 30.
We drove down the 101 in Oregon last year and met a guy from Bend who was 79 I believe. He was a chatty fellow, and pointed to the hike he just finished. It was something grueling like 3 miles and 1800 feet, and he looked the part. It was easy to believe he did a hike that would have had me huffing and puffing.
I firmly believe the secret is to keep the fat off and keep moving. It’s not a guarantee, but every older person I’ve encountered who acts like a younger person has a similarly high activity lifestyle.
Enjoyed the sharting references. It hasn’t hit me yet, but it’s a topic my 50+ friends love to talk about.
I'm 58, I only sharted once in my life and I think I was in my 20's.
I was in Miami Beach last week at the XBiz porn convention (I sell porn collectibles as I own an archive of original film from the 60's-90's). It was the first time that I didn't look at the eye candy. I clubbed only the first night until 1:30 and then came home and worked until 3am. A couple days in, I met a sweet girl that I became friends with that is a porn star and it was nice not trying anything and just being a gentleman. The bartender serving us simply said I manifested good energy and that brings me to my point... What stuck out in your essay is wisdom. In my 50's I became me! I don't have to impress anyone. If they like me for me...fine, if not fine too.
I do notice in my late 50's I ask the question "how many good years do I have left?" My dad is still in great shape at 87 (he was painting on a step stool just yesterday), but I too wonder how much time I have. What I try to do is live a bit each day. For me I paddle board, and look to wing (it's like wind surfing) and I look to playing guitar again and taking both guitar lessons (I want to learn slide guitar blues riffs and become a great singer ... I'm pretty good now but want to be great). I work 20-40 hours a week from 10-5 mostly and some late nights, but I screw around too much on twitter and stock stuff...which to me is a waste of time (researching is not a waste, but watching the market is a waste of time).
I am envious that I no longer have the love of a beautiful woman and even lost my cat last year... but I do value time now and try to live a bit each day and it is much easier when I am simply me.
You are a great writer, I hope you find an exercise regimen to keep you healthy for many years where at an old age when you had 50+ years writing the dailydirtnap, you look into your wifes' eyes one last time and shart on your way out.
Al Cheech
I promise you will die of cancer with your wife gazing into your eyes sooner rather than later if you don’t deal with your gastro issues. Holy Smokes!?!
70 👋🏽
Thank you; that post made me laugh out loud. :D When I hit 50, I got a full-on midlife crisis. Had breezed through my 30s and 40s, so I figured the big 5-0 would be no big deal. Oh, was I wrong. What triggered my crisis was a blog post by a bestselling novelist in her late 30s, saying that she'd written nine shitty novels that never made it past her drawer before hitting it big. She said, "Maybe YOU have to write nine shitty novels." And I thought, "I don't have TIME to write nine shitty novels." It hit me like a brick, and suddenly I questioned everything, including my marriage, as in, "Is this really all there is? Is this gonna be the rest of my life?" The wacky hormone spiral certainly didn't help. It got so bad that I feared I was losing my mind... until I found out that those countless "conditions" I'd come down with were all one great big syndrome called (peri)menopause. At 59, I'm much more emotionally balanced than I was at 50, thanks be to God.