Your article struck a nerve with me and I agree with your sentiments. I am a generation older than you, as we have discussed in the past, and because of that I view some of your writings with a different perspective.
40 years ago I had just started my anesthesiology practice after way too many years of schooling and training. I had one partner who was equally new to private practice and after a year of taking increasingly busy call every other week we hired a new partner. Al had just finished a Cardio Vascular anesthesiology fellowship and the three of us brought the latest advances in anesthesia to a small PA coal town hospital. The nurses, surgeons, other docs and patients really appreciated us and we all worked well together and bonded closely.
We all went in different directions 2 years later moving to better practices, but I kept in touch with Al and his wife Debbie and would visit every 3-10 years. We weren’t really close but still considered each other as close friends.
Three weeks ago I got a call from one of the nurses we had both worked with that Al had unexpectedly passed away the previous morning in the bathroom after awakening. His funeral was in 3 days. Despite what you think, being retired (at least for me) does not mean an open calendar. All meetings and appointments were rescheduled and my wife and I bought plane tickets, rented a car and hotel room and took 3 days to attend his funeral. It was a lot more than 19.2 minutes and quite expensive - but I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Our presence was appreciated by Debbie and their son, but I did it for my friend Al. Even though he couldn’t tell me in person I needed him to know that he was more important to me than “being all jammed up” with life.
Valid. And I cannot count the number of times youve taken 15 seconds to respond to something Ive posted or sent over the last decade or so. It is appreciated, thank you.
JD, brother, this one right to the core. Love it, and love you. I don’t know if I can ever help you, but if I can, reach out. I’m https://www.linkedin.com/in/davist
An observation.... procrastination affects this, too. Someone can't help on something today because they are jammed up. It's true they are jammed up. But it's also true the task they are jammed up with could've been done yesterday instead of sitting on the couch watching daytime TV. If there is stuff on the list that will need done, do it today. Then when something comes up tomorrow, there is time margin available to take advantage of something good, or help someone, or whatever comes up. By procrastinating today, you're deciding you won't help someone on their deal tomorrow.
Great wake-up call. Thank you Jared, I needed the reminder.
I’ve practiced this—with varying degrees of success—most of my adult (i.e. sober) life. The fails are always because my head is up my ass, swimming in it. For me it’s best to be proactive, like doing at least one good deed a day with no one knowing. Then let chance take over, as one thing leads to the next.
There is a huge karma aspect to helping others. Connections happen when humans interact. I just never know how far the ripple of any one of my actions may travel, and more than a few times good things have come about from random encounters. Like your favorite saying, “luck never finds you in your apartment”!
Take the time. Make the call. Visit in person. Stay grateful.
All very well said....back in the day we called this "common courtesy" or at the minimum "professionalism" in a work setting. If you're busy, at least reply back and point someone in the right direction!! oh....loved the confetti effect :)
I try to help others when asked and I help others when I am not asked. Tonight I watched TV with my father who has had some health issues recently (to be honest I am so struggling on whether to cancel my Dirtcon based on his surgery in two weeks...if it goes well, I should be able to go, if not, I can hire a nurse for those few days). I also live by another principle...if I can't help them, to not hurt them. I never talk about anyone that I wouldn't say to his/her face, as well as comments on the Internet. One other thing that is my favorite in helping is when someone comments to me "you made my day!" That is priceless to me.
I like the 19.2 minute essay... I am so glad you have "time" to write these essays.
Only 19 minutes? At least a few times a week, sometimes more, I get a call from someone who needs some kind of support or advice. Today's was 30 minutes and involved the stresses of long distance elder care. I have a friend with mental illness who is a fabulous person, but once a month or so I talk to her which is a minimum of an hour, but I schedule it during house cleaning. I have had friends pick up for me when I needed it and am grateful forever. I have seen people support people I care about as well. This is how we generate community. A big part of the mental problems in younger people is their lack of connection.
For years I have built unscheduled space into my schedule to allow time for these things. It is like budgeting money for unexpected expenses, but the time version
I agree with this 99% of the time, and I help people out wherever I can. I also try to be clear exactly what I'll do for them, just to avoid any misunderstanding. I've helped out plenty of college students and early-career people, because they’re often the ones with the fewest resources and options.
But there is that 1%, which I reserve for people who are either scammers (my radar is pretty good, not perfect) or people who I know from experience are going to disappoint. I'll tell them no, but politely of course. The scammers I just blow off, of course. Only twice have I told someone I would help them and then didn't, and I still feel like a real chickenshit for those two times (for the record, I should have told them no).
Your article struck a nerve with me and I agree with your sentiments. I am a generation older than you, as we have discussed in the past, and because of that I view some of your writings with a different perspective.
40 years ago I had just started my anesthesiology practice after way too many years of schooling and training. I had one partner who was equally new to private practice and after a year of taking increasingly busy call every other week we hired a new partner. Al had just finished a Cardio Vascular anesthesiology fellowship and the three of us brought the latest advances in anesthesia to a small PA coal town hospital. The nurses, surgeons, other docs and patients really appreciated us and we all worked well together and bonded closely.
We all went in different directions 2 years later moving to better practices, but I kept in touch with Al and his wife Debbie and would visit every 3-10 years. We weren’t really close but still considered each other as close friends.
Three weeks ago I got a call from one of the nurses we had both worked with that Al had unexpectedly passed away the previous morning in the bathroom after awakening. His funeral was in 3 days. Despite what you think, being retired (at least for me) does not mean an open calendar. All meetings and appointments were rescheduled and my wife and I bought plane tickets, rented a car and hotel room and took 3 days to attend his funeral. It was a lot more than 19.2 minutes and quite expensive - but I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Our presence was appreciated by Debbie and their son, but I did it for my friend Al. Even though he couldn’t tell me in person I needed him to know that he was more important to me than “being all jammed up” with life.
Gospel truth! We should tattoo 19.2 minutes on our forearm as a reminder.
Valid. And I cannot count the number of times youve taken 15 seconds to respond to something Ive posted or sent over the last decade or so. It is appreciated, thank you.
JD, brother, this one right to the core. Love it, and love you. I don’t know if I can ever help you, but if I can, reach out. I’m https://www.linkedin.com/in/davist
I’m also going to try to figure out how I can focus on helping somebody every day. I can give 19.2 minutes.
An observation.... procrastination affects this, too. Someone can't help on something today because they are jammed up. It's true they are jammed up. But it's also true the task they are jammed up with could've been done yesterday instead of sitting on the couch watching daytime TV. If there is stuff on the list that will need done, do it today. Then when something comes up tomorrow, there is time margin available to take advantage of something good, or help someone, or whatever comes up. By procrastinating today, you're deciding you won't help someone on their deal tomorrow.
Great wake-up call. Thank you Jared, I needed the reminder.
I’ve practiced this—with varying degrees of success—most of my adult (i.e. sober) life. The fails are always because my head is up my ass, swimming in it. For me it’s best to be proactive, like doing at least one good deed a day with no one knowing. Then let chance take over, as one thing leads to the next.
There is a huge karma aspect to helping others. Connections happen when humans interact. I just never know how far the ripple of any one of my actions may travel, and more than a few times good things have come about from random encounters. Like your favorite saying, “luck never finds you in your apartment”!
Take the time. Make the call. Visit in person. Stay grateful.
I agree, but with one caveat. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for someone is to tell them no.
Spot on.
Can I borrow a cup of sugar?
All very well said....back in the day we called this "common courtesy" or at the minimum "professionalism" in a work setting. If you're busy, at least reply back and point someone in the right direction!! oh....loved the confetti effect :)
Solid article Jared. I rarely comment or like shit, but amazing truth you just put out. Kee up the good work.
I try to help others when asked and I help others when I am not asked. Tonight I watched TV with my father who has had some health issues recently (to be honest I am so struggling on whether to cancel my Dirtcon based on his surgery in two weeks...if it goes well, I should be able to go, if not, I can hire a nurse for those few days). I also live by another principle...if I can't help them, to not hurt them. I never talk about anyone that I wouldn't say to his/her face, as well as comments on the Internet. One other thing that is my favorite in helping is when someone comments to me "you made my day!" That is priceless to me.
I like the 19.2 minute essay... I am so glad you have "time" to write these essays.
Al Cheech - LadiesOnFilm
Only 19 minutes? At least a few times a week, sometimes more, I get a call from someone who needs some kind of support or advice. Today's was 30 minutes and involved the stresses of long distance elder care. I have a friend with mental illness who is a fabulous person, but once a month or so I talk to her which is a minimum of an hour, but I schedule it during house cleaning. I have had friends pick up for me when I needed it and am grateful forever. I have seen people support people I care about as well. This is how we generate community. A big part of the mental problems in younger people is their lack of connection.
For years I have built unscheduled space into my schedule to allow time for these things. It is like budgeting money for unexpected expenses, but the time version
I agree with this 99% of the time, and I help people out wherever I can. I also try to be clear exactly what I'll do for them, just to avoid any misunderstanding. I've helped out plenty of college students and early-career people, because they’re often the ones with the fewest resources and options.
But there is that 1%, which I reserve for people who are either scammers (my radar is pretty good, not perfect) or people who I know from experience are going to disappoint. I'll tell them no, but politely of course. The scammers I just blow off, of course. Only twice have I told someone I would help them and then didn't, and I still feel like a real chickenshit for those two times (for the record, I should have told them no).
Is "Okeechobee Swamp University" a real place? 😂
Don't do that here
It all depends, some people have more time than money and others have more money than time.