Maybe back then Claus was insecure and trying to seem competent. Maybe he's more mature now and looks back on those times with regrets. I'm speaking from experience.
I try to write off minor slights, because sometimes people are just inside their own head and don't mean any malice. If someone is an intentional ass (Claus fits the bill) then I just make a point never to do them any favors and to be watchful if I'm forced to be around them due to circumstances. Then there is the aggressive asshole who guns for you, there you have to fight fire with fire if you can.
I have a ‘Claus’ who I’ll call ‘Melissa.’ I thought we were friends, we hung out at eachother’s apartments many times, when her boyfriend dumped her peak Covid, I listened to her cry about it for hours. Then when I was being poached for a job at the company she worked for, I was caught off guard when Melissa was the one “easy” interview I thought I was going to have, and instead, she turned it into an opportunity for her to peacock and make me feel like I didn’t deserve the role. When I didn’t get the gig, a mutual colleague told me it was because Melissa was “intimidated” that I would take her job one day. Which, fair. And while I’m not in a place of wishing her well just yet, I take solace in knowing that she wouldn’t have stood in my way if she didn’t believe I was already ahead.
That is my favorite Maya Angelo quote… you never forget the way they made you feel. I’ll be honest… I went to your Daily Dirtnap conference last year and you were cordial but at the end I was thinking of staying for a drink at the cigar bar we were at or drive 5 hours to see my niece in Charlotte.
I approached you at the bar and waited while you were conversing with someone and after you were done, I said “great conference, I learned a lot” and put my hand out to shake yours. You had a cigar in your right hand and couldn’t put it down to give a proper hand shake… you shook my extended right hand haphazardly with your left hand holding onto the cigar with your right hand.
That made my decision for me and then said I’m taking off and wished you well. It wasn’t much… but I do remember how it made me feel…a bit slighted… not like yours with Claus…but all the same a bit slighted.
I know you had a lot of people to deal with at the conference and I’m sure you were glad it was over… but always remember to take the time to shake someone’s hand like you mean it… even if you don’t.
I want to do a postscript … I wanted to mention that Jared reached out to me offline and apologized… it was very nice and very sincere and was more than happy to accept it! The power of apology is greater than the forgiveness given in return.
I was told it was Eleanor Roosevelt. I wonder how many people it has been attributed to. A side effect of caring about other people is being happier ourselves.
Another Bill Clinton story : During his first term a young handsome congressman (shall remain nameless) stood in line with his starkly beautiful wife, waiting to meet the president. When they arrived at the front of the line Clinton smiled broadly, took the wife’s hands in his own, and said something like “It is such a pleasure to meet you”. Upon which the young congressman said to himself as if speaking to the president, “and you will not meet her again”. Bill was nothing if not charming and the congressman was not going to take any chances.
Fuck Claus.
Beat me to it!
Maybe back then Claus was insecure and trying to seem competent. Maybe he's more mature now and looks back on those times with regrets. I'm speaking from experience.
You are a very warm person, you just express yourself differently. A total sweetheart.
The nuance between insults and slights - thank you for this. And fuck Claus.
I try to write off minor slights, because sometimes people are just inside their own head and don't mean any malice. If someone is an intentional ass (Claus fits the bill) then I just make a point never to do them any favors and to be watchful if I'm forced to be around them due to circumstances. Then there is the aggressive asshole who guns for you, there you have to fight fire with fire if you can.
I have a ‘Claus’ who I’ll call ‘Melissa.’ I thought we were friends, we hung out at eachother’s apartments many times, when her boyfriend dumped her peak Covid, I listened to her cry about it for hours. Then when I was being poached for a job at the company she worked for, I was caught off guard when Melissa was the one “easy” interview I thought I was going to have, and instead, she turned it into an opportunity for her to peacock and make me feel like I didn’t deserve the role. When I didn’t get the gig, a mutual colleague told me it was because Melissa was “intimidated” that I would take her job one day. Which, fair. And while I’m not in a place of wishing her well just yet, I take solace in knowing that she wouldn’t have stood in my way if she didn’t believe I was already ahead.
"People skills" is just that....a skill....nice piece, Jared.
Like every skill, some people know it automatically and others, like me, have to study it explicitly.
That is my favorite Maya Angelo quote… you never forget the way they made you feel. I’ll be honest… I went to your Daily Dirtnap conference last year and you were cordial but at the end I was thinking of staying for a drink at the cigar bar we were at or drive 5 hours to see my niece in Charlotte.
I approached you at the bar and waited while you were conversing with someone and after you were done, I said “great conference, I learned a lot” and put my hand out to shake yours. You had a cigar in your right hand and couldn’t put it down to give a proper hand shake… you shook my extended right hand haphazardly with your left hand holding onto the cigar with your right hand.
That made my decision for me and then said I’m taking off and wished you well. It wasn’t much… but I do remember how it made me feel…a bit slighted… not like yours with Claus…but all the same a bit slighted.
I know you had a lot of people to deal with at the conference and I’m sure you were glad it was over… but always remember to take the time to shake someone’s hand like you mean it… even if you don’t.
Al Cheech - Ladiesonfilm
I want to do a postscript … I wanted to mention that Jared reached out to me offline and apologized… it was very nice and very sincere and was more than happy to accept it! The power of apology is greater than the forgiveness given in return.
I was told it was Eleanor Roosevelt. I wonder how many people it has been attributed to. A side effect of caring about other people is being happier ourselves.
Another Bill Clinton story : During his first term a young handsome congressman (shall remain nameless) stood in line with his starkly beautiful wife, waiting to meet the president. When they arrived at the front of the line Clinton smiled broadly, took the wife’s hands in his own, and said something like “It is such a pleasure to meet you”. Upon which the young congressman said to himself as if speaking to the president, “and you will not meet her again”. Bill was nothing if not charming and the congressman was not going to take any chances.