Rule 62

Always remember Rule 62: don’t take yourself so damn seriously.

I’m guessing that most of the people who read these essays work in the financial industry in some capacity. Maybe they run billions of dollars at a hedge fund. Maybe they are a senior managing director at a bank. Maybe they have CFAs or any number of professional designations. Maybe they are even CEOs.

The one nice thing I will say about the financial industry is that the egos tend not to be too out of control—or maybe that is just a function of the people I hang out with. The thing about working in finance is that finance is a very humbling profession, and the market has a tendency to take you out and wax you like a surfboard when you start running around telling everyone how important you are. I will say, however, that there are some pretty big egos in the financial pundit business. I have spoken at a bunch of conferences, and these talking heads take themselves very seriously. They expect to be treated like stars, and I’m not kidding.

Of all the people in the world that I don’t get along with, it’s generally the people who take themselves super-seriously. I don’t take myself seriously at all. I’m a bozo with a newsletter. Ok, I have some books, and ok, I was a columnist for a while, and I do some other things, but I am just another bozo on the bus. And eminently fallible. I am wrong often. Funny thing about the financial pundit business—people hate to be wrong and they really hope you won’t bring up their bad calls. They’ll ignore it, and hope it goes away. That’s a function of taking yourself too seriously.

But like I said, the egos are not so bad in finance, relatively speaking. They are bad elsewhere. They are especially bad in the public sector and academia. Professors get a lot of mileage out of being a professor. People frequently put comma PhD in their Twitter handle. I mean, they’re completely entitled to do it, it’s just interesting that they do it. I’ll be entitled to put comma MFA in my Twitter handle in a couple of weeks, and I’m probably not going to do it. The only place it really belongs is in official correspondence or your email signature. But the thing about having an advanced degree is that it leads the holder of the degree to think they’re smarter than everyone else. I’m sure some PhD’s will dispute that, but it absolutely true. But just because you know elemental truths about history, anthropology, English, physics, and math, doesn’t mean you know all truths. My experience has shown that people without advanced degrees tend to do a better job of predicting the future than people with advanced degrees. Having a PhD means you are an expert on some specific things, while someone with an MBA knows a little about a lot of things. Always trust the generalists to get it right.

Of course, this is an essay on humility. And I’m sure you’ve had this experience, where you’re at the airline counter, trying to check in, and the airline employee is a complete mook, and it’s taking forever, and it’s getting screwed up, and you’re tempted to say don’ t you know who I am? Oh boy. If you ever find yourself saying don’t you know who I am, then you are taking yourself way too seriously. There is a very good chance that the airline employee doesn’t know who you are, or cares. And just because you are famous in finance circles, doesn’t not mean you are famous in all circles. Never, ever throw your weight around. I wonder if a guy like Mike Wilson has difficulty getting restaurant reservations, and I wonder if he’s ever been tempted to tell the maître d’ who he is. I mean, in the financial world, he’s a big deal. Everyone knows who he is. In the rest of the world, nobody cares. And even if you truly are a celebrity, like a real celebrity, never do this. Just sit with the hoi polloi. See the difference in public opinion on Keanu Reeves and James Corden. I sincerely hope I am never that famous, but if I am, I hope most of all that it never goes to my head.

I am friendly with someone who was once a bat boy for the Yankees. He told me a lot about the players and their egos. All of this was told to me in confidence, and out of deference to him I’m not going to reveal any clubhouse secrets, but let me just say that it was very interesting to hear about who had the big egos and who considered themselves to be humble servants. Because if you’re a ballplayer, you’re really nothing special. Aaron Judge is nothing special. He plays a game for a living, in his pajamas. You really have to think about what you’re placed here on this earth for. I will tell you what I believe I am placed here on this earth for: to ease people’s burdens, if only for a few moments. To uplift and entertain and inform. Before leaving earth, I want to know that I left a positive impact, and that impact is measured in the number of people whose spirits I lifted. That’s it. You can call it altruism if you want, but if I do this, I make more money.

I’ve sure you’ve had this experience where you’re having a conversation with someone and you’re talking about a third party, and the other person will say: he’s not a good person. Whoa! Where does that come from! Really, it comes down to how you treat people. If you’re the type of person to shit on the airline ticket agent, to shit on the Uber driver, to shit on the valet, to mistreat people who you believe are less than you, you are not a good person. I refer to this phenomenon as sucking up and punching down. Being nice to people who you think can help you, while crapping on everyone else. If you’ve ever read Dale Carnegie, you know this is not the way to do things. And I should really re-read Dale Carnegie—it’s been three decades. It’s about being kind and decent to people, regardless of how “big” you are.

It can be hard. One thing that people at the highest level have in common is a lower tolerance for bullshit. Whether you’re Mike Wilson, or Keanu Reeves, or Aaron Judge, you place a high value on your time because you are being pulled in a lot of different directions. People are frequently demanding your time. So if the ticket agent is causing you a minor inconvenience, it can make you cross. Even five minutes out of your day is valuable. Patience and tolerance is our code. Don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick. Watch the facial expressions and body language. People are doing their best. And if they’re not, that’s no big deal, either. People don’t remember much, but I will tell you what they do remember: how someone who is allegedly important treats them. If you think you are a VIP, chances are you aren’t very V, and you aren’t very I either. You’re just a P. If you want to know the reason why expensive hotels are so expensive, it’s not because the beds are any comfier. It’s because they treat everyone like a VIP.

In Nate Silver’s The Signal and the Noise, he relates an anecdote where he was in the Red Sox dugout to interview Dustin Pedroia. Pedroia said, “I’m getting ready for the big-league ballgame,” and walked off. Dick. I’d hazard a guess that Nate Silver’s name is more recognizable than Pedroia’s these days. Don’t do this. You may not be able to make time for everyone, but you can at least be decent about it.

So anytime you see someone getting too big for their britches, remind them: Rule 62. Don’t take yourself so damn seriously.