Sometime in 2003, when I was in the throes of mental illness and addiction, I came across a book on Amazon called How To Disappear Completely and Never be Found. I didn’t buy it, but I spent a lot of time staring at that page and reading the reviews. The idea of disappearing completely and never being found appealed to me at that moment in history. I thought I would hitch a ride to Rawlins, Wyoming, wash dishes for $7/hour and live in a $400/month apartment and live out my days in solitude. That was my greatest ambition at that point in my life. It was a fantasy that I indulged from time to time, packing up my shit, going completely off the grid, and never being seen again.
I like all these essays...but something does (did?) happen to me when I crossed 60. Maybe too many friends had died, I don't know. But now I just like immersing in the hobbies, all of which drain money rather than pile it up. I guess that's a kind of ambition, but it is quite a different daily feel than the 30 year old me working 100 hours a week. Luckily I never had a breakdown, and I was happy throughout, except for the very end of the career when it seemed like the bullshit overwhelmed the fun.
Something similar happened to me this past year as I approach 65. I have a great opportunity to continue working and making a decent amount of money - nothing crazy but we could be very comfortable. The younger me would be all over it but now, as I'm playing the back nine of life I find myself wanting to focus much more on family, friends and doing the things the Mrs and I enjoy doing. Also as you stated, my tolerance for some of the assinine requirements these days is long past gone. I have a great deal of ambition that will be spent enjoying the above instead of chasing the almighty dollar and I'm thankful to have the opportunity.
brother started a business made 2 million a year, internet changed and he spent everything trying to save it. Lost it all, wife and kids were on drugs. IRS took 30% of SS check. He was broken, when he lost his home(forecloseure) so he went to the streets. That was 10 years ago. You can find him at the international terminal at ohare sleeping everynight, and riding the CTA trains during the day. Please be careful, with your writings as most of people who read you are scared of the monster around the corner who whispers "you can do it too"
Pump us up Jared, good job...
Your free essays got me to request Rule 62 for Christmas. So there.
Love your essays. Always appreciated. Rule 62 on the nightstand.
I like all these essays...but something does (did?) happen to me when I crossed 60. Maybe too many friends had died, I don't know. But now I just like immersing in the hobbies, all of which drain money rather than pile it up. I guess that's a kind of ambition, but it is quite a different daily feel than the 30 year old me working 100 hours a week. Luckily I never had a breakdown, and I was happy throughout, except for the very end of the career when it seemed like the bullshit overwhelmed the fun.
Something similar happened to me this past year as I approach 65. I have a great opportunity to continue working and making a decent amount of money - nothing crazy but we could be very comfortable. The younger me would be all over it but now, as I'm playing the back nine of life I find myself wanting to focus much more on family, friends and doing the things the Mrs and I enjoy doing. Also as you stated, my tolerance for some of the assinine requirements these days is long past gone. I have a great deal of ambition that will be spent enjoying the above instead of chasing the almighty dollar and I'm thankful to have the opportunity.
“Happier than a Puppy with two Peters”
Love it………!
brother started a business made 2 million a year, internet changed and he spent everything trying to save it. Lost it all, wife and kids were on drugs. IRS took 30% of SS check. He was broken, when he lost his home(forecloseure) so he went to the streets. That was 10 years ago. You can find him at the international terminal at ohare sleeping everynight, and riding the CTA trains during the day. Please be careful, with your writings as most of people who read you are scared of the monster around the corner who whispers "you can do it too"