About Writing

There are a lot of financial influencers who fancy themselves the next John Updike. I think there are have been more essays on writing by finance dicks than on any other topic. They are a bunch of poseurs. Finance writing is not writing. It is advertising copy at best, and self-promotional bullshit at worst.

I only have one piece of advice about writing:

Write.

We’ll get back to that in a minute. First of all, I want to disclose that I learned to read when I was 22 months old. Yes, before the age of 2. I was reading full-fledged children’s books at 2 and graduated to stuff like Encyclopedia Brown at age 3. That’s prodigious, but there’s more to the story.

When I was a baby, I lived in Kodiak, Alaska. My father was a Coast Guard helicopter pilot, and as you may know, there is a pretty big air station up there. But back then it was a small air station, and there wasn’t much in the way of amenities. The conditions were very primitive. In the winter, it was dark 22 hours a day, and there was nothing to do.

So my mom got a hold of some magnetic letters and would sit with me on the floor in front of the refrigerator and spell out words. C-A-T. D-O-G. I was an infant. She was mostly just amusing herself, and had no idea that any of this stuff was getting through. But it was. I was learning to read, which created big problems later when I wouldn’t go in public restrooms with her because I could read “LADIES” on the door. I’d throw a huge fucking temper tantrum until I got my way, and went to the men’s room myself, as a toddler.

I know what my IQ is, and it’s high, but not ridiculously high. Being smart helps, but the one thing that has given me the biggest advantage in life was learning to read before age 2. So I tell this to parents all the time—teach your children to read when they are young; don’t wait for someone else to do it in kindergarten. And nobody ever takes my fucking advice. Learning to read at a very young age puts you on a level that is so far ahead of your peer group—and that advantage continues far into adulthood. Kids are little sponges, they can learn. It is better than watching cartoons all day on one of those indestructible childproof iPads.

So that explains part of my writing ability. But do you know what explains the rest of my writing ability? Practice. I write all the damn time, and I have been pretty much non-stop since 2004. Between this newsletter, The Daily Dirtnap, my other newsletters, my op-eds, my classes, and all the random stuff I do, I am writing, on average, about 3,000-4,000 words a day. Every single day, and some on the weekends, too. If you played tennis for 8 hours a day you would get pretty good at tennis. If you played piano for 8 hours a day, you would get pretty good at piano. It’s no different. Writing is hard if you don’t do it very often. It’s a struggle. I write so much, and it’s so easy, that if I have a list of 10 things to do and writing is one of them, I will do the writing first. Everyone else will procrastinate and postpone the writing until the end, because they find it unpleasant. I actually enjoy it a lot.

Another way you get good at writing is by reading. I don’t read as much as I used to (mostly because I am writing), but I used to be a voracious consumer of literary fiction. I got good at writing because I was reading the best writing in the world. In the beginning, you try to imitate what you read, but eventually you just absorb it and it becomes part of your style. Keep in mind that it was my dream to become a writer. When I was 22, I would hang out in coffeeshops and people-watch and imagine stories about the people I saw. I would sit there, with a cup of coffee, and a notebook, observing and taking notes. I don’t need to do that anymore, because the jackasses in this business give me plenty of material. But I knew I was good, and I wanted to get an MFA and write short stories and teach in a university somewhere, and wear a tweed coat with leather elbows.

As it turns out, my writing is not very literary. I am having a hell of a time getting stuff published in literary journals. But my writing is clear and honest. And you can go a long way with clear and honest writing. Some of the biggest self-help bestsellers in recent years succeeded because they were clear and honest. I’m thinking of James Clear’s Atomic Habits and Morgan Housel’s The Psychology of Money. Most people, when they write, have a subroutine or filter running in the background, trying to impress the reader and make themselves look good. People can smell bullshit coming a mile away, and that is not writing that succeeds.

One pet peeve I have about fiction, not that anyone who reads this writes fiction, but nothing bugs me more than semi-autobiographical stories or novels. Sure, as a writer, you can pull from your experiences and model characters after people you met in your lifetime, but nothing is more aggravating than reading a short story that someone is essentially writing about themselves. What that means is that person lacks imagination, and if you are going to be writing fiction, imagination is part of the job description. People have asked me how much of All the Evil of This World is based on real people or events. Practically none of it. I made it all up in my head. It’s easy to write about yourself. Not so easy to get inside the mind of another person, with all their perfections and imperfections and twisted motivations.

Good writing can take you a long way in life, especially finance. Have you ever noticed: the people who become really successful in finance generally aren’t the best investors. The people who become really successful in finance are the best communicators, which includes speaking skills as well as writing. Bill Gross is a jerkoff, but people used to hang on every word of his investment letters, him and Paul McCulley. Howard Marks is another example. Matt Levine is the best opinion writer in the financial world, and it’s not even close. In his case, his writing is especially clear and honest. I like to say that I am merely a slightly above-average investor, but I compensate with my writing. And it’s not just true in finance, but in other disciplines as well. By the way, the best political writer hands down is Kevin Williamson at National Review. Agree or disagree, the guy is a treasure. The point is: effective communication accrues influence. Speaking skills are even more important. Ever seen Lacy Hunt speak at a conference? Spellbinding.

If you want to become a better writer, write. And read. I put my 10,000 hours in long ago. And for sure, people are differently abled. Not everyone is going to win the Pulitzer. But you can get better. And it’s worth pursuing. Think about this: 99% of people will never even get this far. I sit on a plane with my laptop out, tapping away, and the frumpy middle-aged woman next to me is playing Candy Crush on her phone. She hasn’t written a literate text message since 2006. You’re doing fine. And remember, spelling and grammar are class markers. If you’re still getting your and you’re mixed up, people are going to think that you’re poor.

Go fuck yourself,

Jared

Music Recommendation: Gareth Emery feat. Christina Novelli – Concrete Angel. One of my favorite trance tunes of all time. Actually played this at a party in 2012. Brought the house down. And it’s a great video.

Book Recommendation: I highly, highly recommend you pick up a copy of my 2016 novel All the Evil of This World. It’s the best thing I’ve ever written. And it’s the darkest, filthiest book you will ever read. Get it here:

https://www.amazon.com/Evil-This-World-Jared-Dillian/dp/1630640085

P.S. We’re Gonna Get Those Bastards will always be free. Please forward to whoever you like.